It’s National Limerick Day on 12 May.
For a bit of fun, we are celebrating this day with a #LimerickYourselfChallenge for our Tappers (and any other family, friends and supporters). We challenge you to write a limerick about yourself (if it’s too hard, complete this form and we’ll try and create one for you).
To help your creative juices flow, read the limericks about Tappers, Volunteers/Staff, supporters, friends and family below. A few more limericks will be posted over the coming weeks (highlighted in green). Hopefully, this will inspire you.
Once you have finished your limerick, please email it to Mike (before 12 May, if possible).
We will publish all entries, on this page, for everyone to enjoy. You never know, you may be a poet but didn’t know it or just a regular Edward Lear writing literary nonsense! Whichever – it should be fun!
#LimerickYourselfChallenge
Your Limerick goes here 😜
Your Limerick goes here 😜
Margaret A. from Kilravock House
Was scared of a teeny, tiny mouse
Surprising, I guess,
She’s with a lioness
In a photo, whilst reading Strauss!
Helen, a Tapper, from Croft-An-Righ
She loves Tom Jones, and did sigh
The concert was great,
But I didn’t get a date
“Tom, it’s au revoir not good-bye!”
Muriel has a fabulous smile
Attended our classes for a while
Diligent and keen
Her review is supreme
A Tapper who goes that extra mile!
There was a Church member called Mair
At the outset felt dread and despair
With a curious mind
She quickly did find
The iPad would answer her prayer!
Lynda‘s an artist first, Tapper next
She loves to paint and loves to text
Did win a cash prize
That was a lovely surprise
It’s true, that some Tappers were vexed!
Betty is Attenbro’s number one fan
Watching him as often as she can
But in her spare time
She drinks soda and lime
Whilst online, choosing her viewing plan!
A TapIT volunteer named Ann
Moved to Pittenweem, just for a tan
She wild water swims
In her shorty and fins
Receiving guests, whenever she can!
There was an old man with a plan
To use a computer to scan
He clicked and clacked
But progress he lacked
Then realised he’d not hit “scan!”
AI Chatbot collaboration with human edits!
There was a young programmer named Kit,
Whose code was incredibly lit,
With lines of Java so fine,
And CSS so divine,
Her websites were a huge hit!
AI Chatbot
We once had a parrot called Billy
An African Grey, intelligent but silly
He excelled in talking
Whistled tunes while walking
But his words were ear piercingly frilly
Melody, Inverard House
“To make friends you will have to be bold.
I don’t care if you think you’re too old.
If you don’t get online,
You’ll have cause to repine
When the world leaves you out in the cold.”
“Cast your mind back to when you were wed.
Did your wedding night fill you with dread?
What’s my point? You survived,
But your fear is revived
And transferred to computers instead.”
“It may seem an impossible task,
To have courage a very big ask,
But, like marriage, the way
is to practise each day,
And, in time, all its tricks you’ll unmask.”
Tony Holmes, Launceston, UK
Melody, a Tapper, is writing a book
Using her iPad after she took
A TapIT session
We have a confession
She can type, without having to look!
To Christmas spirit, Phyllis did nod
With tinsel wrapped all over her bod
Wearing snowmen glasses
She attended our classes
For Phyllis, is one heck of a broad!
There was a plane spotter called Lorence
Who flew in an Embraer ERJ-190 to Florence
He recorded his trip
On a 35 mm strip
And displayed his photos in a gallery, in Torrance!
“You’re convinced you’re a hacker’s delight,
And wake screaming, ‘Ah’m robbed!’ every night.
Are you famous?” “Och, no!”
“Are you wealthy?” “No! No!”
“Then why worry and overexcite?”
Tony Holmes, Launceston, UK
“You have mastered the basics, move on!
The foundation is laid. Build upon.
Drag and drop, cut and paste –
But do nothing in haste –
One wrong click and, ‘Oh! Where has it gone?’”
Tony Holmes, Launceston, UK
“Doctor! Doctor! Ma fingers are numb.”
“Och, To Tappers’ Syndrome you’ve succumb.
Ten days rest, ye’ll be fine.”
“Ah must get back online!”
“Ye’ve no choice, then, but tap with each thumb.”
Tony Holmes, Launceston, UK
A new partner in romance is sought,
But you’re fearful. ‘I’m gonna get caught!’
“Are you telling me true?
And that pic’ – really you?”
Is why internet dating is fraught.
Tony Holmes, Launceston, UK
“It’s been twenty odd years, to the day,
Since I first started tapping away.
Always nervous, at first,
I’m long over the worst,
As my PC knows, now, to obey.”
Tony Holmes, Launceston, UK
I was tapping away in pursuit
Of the optimum holiday route.
I had asked the AA
If they’d show me the way,
But their answer just doesn’t compute.
Tony Holmes, Launceston, UK
There is an old fellow called Bob
Who does a remarkable job.
He tunes up computers
And modems and routers
With a high-voltage thingumabob.
Bob Turvey
You will have to make PC your chum,
If proficient you wish to become.
PCs need to be wooed,
Will forgive when you’re rude,
But will not give it up for a crumb.
Tony Holmes, Launceston, UK
We’ve been told our tech books are very clear
And reading them eases all tech fear
So, please do not delay
Buy, at least one, today
They’re worth it, check out the reviews, dear!
The Helpful Book Company was a Sponsor of the Christmas Advent Calendar 2019, 2021 & 2022.🙏
There was an old lady called Flo;
Each morning she’d put on a show.
She’d put her teeth in,
Give her husband a grin –
And then back to sleep she would go!
Bob Turvey
“Mac and I? It was love at first sight.
I’d resisted PCs, but the fight
Drained away. I was hooked.
Lifelong sessions I booked,
And my digital love life took flight.”
“Twenty years have gone by since that day.
Do I love him as much? Oh, I’ll say!
Truth be told, even more.
Life without him would bore.
Will we ever be parted – no way!”
Tony Holmes, Launceston, UK
A Lynedoch Tapper called Phyllis
Is known for growing amaryllis.
She’s up for a laugh,
Views Corrie in the bath
And would love to meet THE Bruce Willis!
An old TapIT member called Ann
Persuades as many folks as she can
To attend our classes
Spreads I.T. to masses
And for that, we’re her number one fan!
There’s a TapIT member — Barbara
Whose zodiac sign is Libra
Sociable and grounded
She’s always surrounded
By family and friends in Alhambra!
Jackie’s a star
She’s come on so far
She never ever fails
With Zoom or emails
Her attendance is great
And she’s never late
Jacqueline Loose has a curious mind
By using her new iPad, she did find
Lessons helped just fine
But she soon drew a line
As her housework was falling behind!
There’s a TapIT member called Jim
Who often wears a hat with a brim
He always looks fly (smart)
In his blazer and tie
A shame, we haven’t recently seen him!
There’s a TapIT member — Jimmy
Never travelled to the Island (Symi)
With a caravan and car
No wonder, it’s quite far
Instead he tours Scotland with Timmy! (His dog)
There is a TapIT member — Johnny
As a loon, he was a bit scrawny
Talented at football
Playing for Dons — a close call
Now says, “walking football’s fair bonnie”!
There’s a TapIT member called Mags
Who owns a rare collection of bags
They store yarn for knitting
On the shelf, they’re sitting
Due to the heavy weight, it now sags!
There is a great helper called Margaret
She says IT – she just doesn’t get it
But she went to Dunoon
Downloaded Skype very soon
And now she’s a whizz kid at it
Margaret loves Gaelic chat
She often says ‘Tapadh leat’
Her heart’s in Brora
But she does a lorra
Chatting online
And that’s just fine
Margaret Simpson loves to Zoom
She can do it from almost any room
Seeing friends despite lockdown
They all live out of town
You can Zoom too with help, we assume!
There’s a TapIT member called Paul
Who gave online computing his all
Trying email, WhatsApp
Searching up Google map
And he’s also mastered a Zoom call!
A TapIT member called Robert
Who loves a heavy metal concert
Parents Bonnie & Clyde
Has his dog at his side
And loves all music, except Schubert!
A TapIT member called Sandra
Whose mum named her Alexandra
Tinkers in the garden
As sun makes soil harden
Her plot’s as barren, as the Tundra!
A TapIT member called Tricia
Who hailed from Essex not Wishaw!
Has a Galaxy A5
And is beginning to thrive
So booked a trip to Galicia!
There was a Church member called Mair
At the outset felt dread and despair
With a curious mind
She quickly did find
The iPad would answer her prayer!
Muriel has a fabulous smile
Attended our classes for a while
Diligent and keen
Her review is supreme
A Tapper who goes that extra mile!
Aaron’s a bright star
Destined to go far
He’s a whizz in the quiz
He’s a kind, great new find
And never performs below par
A TapIT volunteer named Ann
Has a grandchild, who lives in Japan
Planned her visit online
And managed to combine
Liberty, the Met and a sun tan!
There is a tech guru named Bob
Retired but he still has a job
I.T. is his thing
Loves travelling in spring
And having, a few beers with his mob!
A TapIT volunteer called Brian
To be a developer, he is tryin’
He’s doing something new
Just like me and you
Stick at it, it’ll be worth all the cryin’!
A TapIT Trustee named Bridget
Booked 1:1 help on a widget
She was instantly hooked
Got her phone and booked
Another session, with her digit!
There is a young man called Colin
Who used to go rock and rollin’
He danced on the ceiling
But now he is feeling
He’d rather help out at Computin’
There was a webmaster called Fee
Who was finding it tricky to see
How to grow social likes
Despite all her gripes
Web traffic has jumped up, a degree!
There is a young lady called Fiona
She’s the world’s very best webmasta…
She creates stuff online
Her style is sublime
Without her, IT’d be a disasta…..!
There’s a lovely volunteer called Fiona
She’s at home with her girls, doing Home schooling
When she’s bored with that
She’s out on the track
To keep up her pace
Or she’ll lose her space
To run in the race
Then back to the old
Home schooling
Lesley, a TapIT helper supreme
Her teaching skills are really extreme
But Tappers learned the ropes
And told anecdotes
Via Facebook. Oh, wow – what a team!
The TapIT xo called Mike
As you know, travels round on his bike
In the wind and the rain
Most think him insane
At least he doesn’t arrive on a trike!
There was an older man called Mike
Who travelled around on his bike
It wasn’t a Scott
But he often thought
A Trek Butterfly Madone — I’d like!
My name is Mike
I travel by bike
I’m digitally savvy
But not very snazzy
Help old folks get online
Isn’t it about time
Everyone was included
And not left excluded
A TapIT worker called Milo
Enjoys lounging on a blue lilo
Whilst, designing his book
Oh! You should, take a look
Before it runs out, like stylus’s Stilo!
A volunteer called Robert Queen
When working uses a 50 inch screen
He loves android gear
At the end of each year
Thanks Rubin, as part of his routine!
Samuel is our mastermind
He’s really been a great find
If you get stuck
You don’t need luck
Samuel will sort your kind
Samuel’s our leading light
Inciteful and keen and bright
He guides Geo Guesser
Scores higher not lesser
He’d give Mastermind a fright
Sara is the TapIT administrator
She is also the CRM co-ordinator
The software runs like a dream
And has been adopted by the team
She’s been voted the best communicator!
You’d be hard pressed to equal our Sheona,
When something needs doing you’ll find her
No matter the task
We scarcely need ask
She’ll have done it, now how can we clone her?
A retired school ma’am, Miss Sheona
To avoid the threat of Corona
Had frequent chats on Zoom
With folks from here to Troon
And a virtual trip to Verona!
A TapIT volunteer called Tony
On a ski holiday, spent a pony (£25)
Someone said “spot the Scot”
Then realised he’s not
As free drinks arrived, with his crony!
The current Tap IT Facebook page
Has finally become all the rage
We’ve lots of followers
Won’t be wallowers
If Captain Tom follows, at some stage! 😜
There was a TapIT member of staff
Who was always up for a laugh
Organising podcasts and quizzes
Drinking anything that fizzes
And never did anything by half!
My name is Bob Schechter. I wrote this.
But I give you permission to quote this.
The copyright’s mine,
But quoting is fine . . .
Provided you carefully note this.
Have you tried our Sky Garden Gin
If you haven’t, well that’s a real sin
We’ve won five awards
It’s been drunk by some Lords
And purported to have made them grin!
Dark Art Distillery was a Sponsor of the Christmas Advent Calendar 2021 & 2022.🙏
There is a manager from Viewpoint
Who frankly, doesn’t like to disappoint
Tenants with questions
Hired us for suggestions
And the tenants now want to anoint!
There was an old man called Alan,
Whose limericks didn’t quite scan.
He did what he could,
They started off good,
But then didn’t really follow a plan!
At 40, Annie Bananie retired.
The email address had now expired.
Her friends went bananas,
Resulting in dramas,
As the email was greatly admired!
A girl called Ms Caroline Stroud
Of her film career, she is very proud.
Despite working on Blade,
She didn’t get a fade
And surely a tattoo, isn’t allowed!
There was an old man from Dunblane
He really was rather insane
Off to the horses for a flutter
It usually ended with a splutter
But out of the blue
His horse came in at 100 to 2
Off to the Pub, he was the host
And all those present drank his toast!
There was a young girl named Ellie
Who loved to watch the telly.
She was arty and fun
Enjoyed lying in the sun,
Bust, she still has a very pale belly!
There was a Gleneagles estate fan
Whose visits to the hotel did span
Five decades at least
She did like to feast
At Andrew Fairlies, with her old man!
There is a young boy called Guy
Whose bedroom is like a pigsty
Lego scattered on the floor
You can’t get thru’ the door
“Please tidy up”, his mother does cry!
An ex-smuggler called Hans Solo
Not many people know, played polo
Born in Correllia
Married Princess Leia
He’s now incommunicado!
There is a young man called Iain
Who is good at helping with seeing
Loves going out to dine
With a bottle of wine
He would love to sail the Aegean!
There was a woman called Lulu Cirillo
Who scrubbed a bomb with a Brillo
We can only assume
It didn’t go boom
Or she’d be lying on a hospital pillow!
David Tennant – Have I got News for you: 7 May
There was a young girl called Millie
Who was incredibly silly
She liked to play sports
Had boys in all the ports
And loved bottles made by Chilly!
There was a young girl called Nicky
Whose friend always shouted for “Vicky”
She’s working too hard
No time to visit The Shard
And wishes she could now take a sicky!
The head of the Royal family is the Queen
She’s reigned for more years than Springsteen
Loves going to the races
Puts the corgis through their paces
But always looks amazingly pristine!
There was a matron called Sally
With the S3’s, she became quite pally
They bonded in Glenshee
Liked watching the Sewing bee
When cross, told them not to dilly-dally!
There was a gallant knight called St George
On whose feasts many English do gorge
Is it true? — He’s from Turkey
It’s a little murky
But the dragon’s a myth they did forge!
There was a young lass called Suz
Who certainly enjoyed all her booze
Prosecco, red or white
Everything seemed right
How was she expected to choose?
Retired Army Captain Sir Tom Moore
Wants to help the N.H.S. as it’s poor
He was sponsored by many
Raised much more than a penny (£32 m +)
Now the N.H.S. isn’t poor, any Moore!
A birthday girl named Gilli
Once was a really wild filly
She partied from dawn
With her best clothes on
The hangover made her quite ill-y!
There was a girl called Ails
Who drank a few lagers from pails
She went out in odd shoes (France 1986)
It must have been the booze
Or, was it one of wee Nikki’s tales!
There was an 80 year old dad called John
His eldest daughter was nicknamed (Ali) Son
The youngest was Fee
Two granddaughters: Ellie and Millie
But his passion was cutting the lawn!
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